The Assertive Leader: The Middle Ground Between Aggression and Passivity

This post is a translation of the original Arabic article.

In my series on innovation leadership... I talked in the previous post about how the true leader is attuned and assertive, uses small wins, and supports those they lead. Several people asked me to go deeper on assertiveness. This post is for those who want to learn the fundamentals of assertive leadership.

First: Defining Assertiveness

You must know that assertiveness is the middle ground between intense competitiveness and complacency, between aggressiveness in pursuing goals and slackness that wastes resources and targets, between passivity and being fully pulled along by the team, and between excessive interference in team matters.

There is a fine line between assertiveness and any of these traits:

• You do not want to be fiercely competitive, fighting on price and copying others
• Nor do you want to be so comfortable that you do not compete with anyone on price or quality, causing your team to lose enthusiasm (notice how government institutions often lack enthusiasm because they have lost the drive to compete)
• Nor do you want to be fully led by the team, allowing democracy to expand so much that it creates chaos
• Nor do you want to be so passive that you never intervene and never make decisions (as many academic leaders do)
• Or conversely, to intervene in every small detail and not give your team room to decide anything without your knowledge

The assertive leader is competitive, driven toward results and goals, listens to everyone, and does what they believe is right.

Second: Democracy Matters, But It Is Not the Goal

Democracy, freedom, open opinions, flexible working hours, and employee comfort are all good things. But remember that your goal is not to make everyone happy. Listen to everyone, big and small, and do what you believe is right, because the team chose you as their leader to make decisions, even if some do not like those decisions.

Third: Know When to Intervene

Know when you must step into your team's affairs and do not resort to micro-management except in extreme cases when you have exhausted all other options. Refer back to the previous post for the situations where you must intervene.

In general, I have learned that in many cases "no management" or very little of it is actually the best kind of management.

Fourth: Tommy Lasorda's Metaphor

To visualize what assertiveness means, imagine you are holding a pigeon: if you grip it too tightly, it suffocates; if you loosen your hold, it flies away. As Tommy Lasorda, one of baseball's most famous coaches, once said.

Fifth: The New Leader on a Team

If you are a new leader on a team, remember the principle of "no harm, no foul." Before making any change or intervening in the team, you must understand the impact your intervention will have.

The assertive leader:

• Reduces their focus on individual team members
• Allows them to act without constantly consulting you
• Does not impose rules at every turn
• Does not monitor everyone so closely that it suffocates the team

Further reading:

Research on the fundamental relationship between leadership and assertiveness from Columbia University, by Daniel Ames and Frank Flynn.

Next in the series: Small Wins: The Progress Principle